Note for My Children: Lesson 3: Pay It Forward

Dearest Anak-anakku,

Last Saturday I took 2 of you to my friend’s wedding where we received a book & kuih bahulu as the door gift. The small book, “Bingkisan untuk anak-anakku” was written by the bride’s mother as the ‘bunga telur’, as the remembrance of her only daughter’s wedding. I was so touched & I wish I could afford to do the same thing. The contents of book are very short & simple but all the advices are very meaningful. One of the contents is “tentang menjadi Orang yang Baik di sisi Allah SWT” – to become a good person.

Lesson 3: Pay It Forward

I believe being good is not only to Allah but to all living things & to yourself. We should also respect the animals & love them. Who knows they can take us to the Heaven :). There’s a movie called “Pay It Forward” which I just love the message. It is described as an obligation to do three good deeds for others in repayment of a good deed that one receives, and that such good deeds should be things that the person cannot accomplish on their own. The recipient of such acts of kindness is then expected to do three good deeds for others in repayment for the help they have received. In this way, the need to help each other can spread exponentially through society, creating a social movement with the hopes of making the world a better place.

Pay it forward or paying it forward refers to repaying the good deeds one has received by doing good things for other unrelated people. For example, Sarah helps Dania & instead of Dania helps Sarah back, she helps Marsya then Marsya can help Hana & Sarah. In Islam, the message is actually about doing something good sincerely without expecting rewards in return. Remember when I always give you some money & ask you to donate to the needy ones like the blinds, orphans, poor people? This is what your Tok Abah always asked me to do when I was about your age. Until now your Tok Mama sends some food to Rumah Anak-anak Yatim monthly. Try to help others as much as we could afford or capable. This is what you are willing to do & not by forcing. Do all the good deeds with ‘hati yang ikhlas’. All the good deeds will clean your heart. It will be a good habit. =)

I’m sure all of you are kind-hearted. For me, I always try my best to help & do good things to others even if it is hard to do or it is not affordable. It’s hard to say “No. sorry I can’t help you”. When there’s a Makcik sells kerepek/kuih-muih, I just don’t have the heart to say to her “maaf makcik, saya tak mau beli”. I will at least spare RM10. If I don’t have the money means no ‘rezeki’ for that Makcik.  Sometimes you will say “alah…buat apa nak tolong dia, dia bukan baik dengan kita pun” or “I already helped her but she still doing bad things to me”. Don’t worry kids, Allah is always there for us.”Hari ini hari orang lain, esok lusa mungkin hari kita pula”. The most important thing is your heart. Be nice to people & might be the unrelated people/strangers will be nice to you. We don’t know when will be our turn to ask for help.  There’s an old say “Buat baik berpada-pada, buat jahat jangan sekali”.

I can guarantee that you will feel happy when you make other people happy. You won’t lose anything. Keep your friendships because I always believe in them.

I hope you get this message right. All of you are my anak-anak solehah.

Love, Mama

by Tini Yahya on Tuesday, 13 September 2011 at 16:15

Note for My Children: Lesson 2- Why Education is so important?

Dearest My Sweethearts,

I know & I’m sure there are times when you feel “Oh no..Do I have to study again?!” or you would say “ala Mama ni..lagi-lagi suh buat homework”. You know what? I felt that too when I was a student. Your grandfather, Tok Abah is a strict man but a very WISE man. Remember how many times I told you that he reads a lot? He reads anywhere and anytime & especially before he goes to sleep. You can just see him sleeping with tones of books, magazines & newspapers around him (I wish I could do the same thing =).Try to ask him anything. I still remember we were in Holland (Tok Abah took us (his children) for a holiday) that time when a tour guide was giving us briefing about her country. Your Tok Abah shared his view and what he had read about the country including the history. The tour guide was so impressed by what he had mentioned. She said Tok Abah knows better about her country than she does. Then I realized learning is not a dull/tedious/monotonous thing, it would be really fun when you know how to use what you have learned. Furthermore, it does not mean when you don’t get good grades, you don’t learn anything.

Lesson 2: Why Education is so important?

I still remember when I was about your age, when Tok Abah took us somewhere & he saw people who worked as cleaners, toll attendants or homeless; he would say “ Did you see that? Do you want to be like them?”. Please don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t ridiculing them; what he meant was “you can choose what you want to be in the future but you have to strive for it. Study smart and grab the opportunity to learn as much as you could because if not, you will end up just like them.” Some of us were born & brought up in less fortunate families, but that doesn’t mean we can’t change our life. There’s no such thing of “this is what Allah has set for me & I can’t do anything about it, I will just redha”. Allah won’t change you unless you change yourselves. But there are times when you will face His tests.

Do you know why I send you (Dania & Sarah) to a Chinese school? Plus Sekolah agama? Tuition classes? I want you to get the best education I could provide. I know I don’t have much time to teach you myself. I can only monitor you during night time when the time is so limited. When you are still young, your brain is like a sponge, it will absorb as much water as possible- meaning you can learn anything easily, you manage to memorize more things. Trust me, I’m not making your life miserable, because learning is fun. I really miss my school days- ponteng sekolah pun Mama tak nak tau.

Whatever it is, you will become into a PERSON from learning. Like I said before; formal & informal education will make you WISER and help you to SURVIVE. You will know how to control your HEART & MIND. I know it’s not easy to get good results, just do your best. Learning is a long process, do it step by step.

I just learned this "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." — Albert Einstein

All of you make me proud.

I love you,

Mama

by Tini Yahya on Friday, 09 September 2011 at 09:53_ from my Facebook.

Note For My Children: Lesson No.1 : 3 Important Words; Please, Sorry & Thank you

I have posted this on my Notes in FB before but I think from now on I will post all my Note for my Children in my blog as well. I think it's time for me to concentrate with my writing & post it in my blog. There are so many things that I want to share with my children which I'm afraid time is so crucial. As parents, we always seem to be wishing for more time. I hope my children will learn something from writing as their guidelines in life especially when I'm not around later.

_________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, 08 September 2011, 5.00pm

My dearest kiddos,

I'm sorry, I know I can't afford to give each of you all of my attention by atleast reading you story books like I used to do before.I've always wanted to share with you my own stories. There are times we learn more through informal education, which I always believe that makes us WISER.The informal education which I'm referring to is our own EXPERIENCES or what we've been adviced.Therefore, I've always wanted to have a journal, to share every single thing in my life with you even if I'm not around.I hope from now on I will atleast spare you a note a day.

Lesson No.1 : 3 Important Words; Please, Sorry & Thank you

Since I was young, these are the 3 words that always pop out of my mouth. Do say please,Sorry & Thank you as they show your manners. They are just simple words but give great impact. How do you feel when someone ask for help and uses 'please'? I'm sure it would touch your heart and you will try to help him/her as much as you could. If you want people to treat the same thing like you treat others, practise this word.

Sorry & Thank you- These are my favourite words. Just imagine if you get hurt & angry with someone, she says sorry immidiately-how would u feel? When you are growing up saying “sorry” is a magical thing, and so easy to do. No matter what you have done, a simple “sorry”, even if you don't mean it, and all is forgiven. (it will be a complicated word when you become older, dont worry you will learn). But say it with all your heart.Some examples are " Maaf Makcik/pakcik, kalau saya menyusahkan sebab kena hantar saya balik rumah" or " Maaf menggangu pakcik/makcik, boleh saya bercakap dengan...,Terima kasih". Thank you shows how you appreciate people. I'm sure you like to be appreciated (all of us do) but the word "Thank You" means more than just an appreciation of people's kindness. I like this phase 'Love isn’t love until it is given away; until it flows over to others'- like giving thanks. How do say thank you to Allah? By saying Alhamdulillah,I'm sure Allah will always listen to you because you appreciate his LOVE.

I hope that I've taught you something today. Dania, if you are reading this please share it with your sisters. I will try write more notes for all of u to replace my time which I could not spend  with you.

I love u so much..

Yours,
Mama

My daughter Marsya..

My 3rd daughter, Marsya was diagnosed Autism when she was around 3 years 8 months old. I did notice on her difference from her other siblings like pretending to be deaf or playing by herself most of the time. Futhermore, she has her own way of playing with toys like arranging them horizontally or vertically. She can't hardy talk, some words she uses are not for communicating. In other words, she's a non-verbal. My dad was the first one who noticed her difference but I was not sure & still in a state of denial. After gave birth to Hana (my 4th daughter), then I realised Marsya was not showing any improvements/ progress which I thought that I had to do something about it. Therefore, I decided to take Marsya for further check-ups in HUKM.

They referred her case to Child Development Centre where she was tested. She also had to go through many phases of check-up/screenings. She had to do eye test, hearing test, brain development test etc. After been through many types of detecting Autism tests, Marsya was confirmed to be diagnosed of mild Autism. The doctor also mentioned this is also due to genetics factor after they analysed our family background. Yes, I have an autistic cousin and I was not shocked with the doctor's statement.

How autism changed my life? Autism is not new thing in my life. I have seen how my cousin grew up, but when I was young I did not understand what is Autism. What are the symptoms & early signs. Or might be I was not even care about Autism. But Allah is so Great that He chose me to have His Special Gift. I have read a book about Autism Parents who never stop to heal/improve their special son, which he mentioned " Allah chooses Special People to take care of His Special Gift". This means Allah gives His trust & believes I could manage in facing His challenges which He has set up for me. It's a blessed. Yes, it was very hard at first,I always noticed the awkward looks from others at Marsya's behavior if I took Marsya out. Some of her behaviors are temper tantrums, making no eye contacts, inappropriate laughing,giggling/crying, hyperactive, difficulty in mixing with other children even with her own siblings. Marsya is going to be 6 years old end of this year but she's still not toilet trained. I have tried so many times but she still does not understand why we need to go toilet.

Since Marsya has ben diagnosed with Autism, I started to do research on Autism, the special needs education, education techniques & what other things I could do to improve her. I became obsessed with anything that links with Autism. I searched schools for Marsya, been asking around which school suits her well. I read about Malaysia special needs education then I finally realised that our special education is still being ignored/ left out (but better than 20 years back).I decided to start something at home because I could not just totally depend on HUKM therapy sessions or her school. I started to analyse all my findings & did some implemention  by buying exercise ball, trampoline, printed out homeschooling materials, montessori toys, having rabbits as pets & sand play.

The exercise balls are being used as a part of sensory therapy. They have been shown to give some children the sensory input they need and to help them control impulses.The ball also helps Marsya increases her motor skills. Trampolines are also good therapy for autism,helping them learn to realign their sensory systems.The repetitive stimulation of bouncing into a rebounding surface helps teach the body over a period of time how to read those impulses it has not been able to interpret.

File folder games are great interactive learning activities.
File folder games are used to promote independent work and academic skills for students with Autism.I printed some of the examples frm the websites.As usual laminate them,cut & put velcro tapes.

One of the best learning techniques for Autism- puzzle solving

Wooden Toys- to increase motor skills & sensory development

Wooden Ball Pounder- watch the balls roll down the ramp for visual tracking & gross motor movement.Such a simple action to help develop early shoulder stability,motor planning & eye hand coordination.

Shoe Box Task/Task Box activity-
Work baskets/shoe box tasks are systems for organizing materials into groups that are easily identifiable based on their use.

Children with pervasive developmental disorders (PDD) respond well to pet therapy. The benefits of pet therapy include: love, attachment, and sensory stimulation. One theory is that pet therapy allows a child with autism to first form a relationship with an animal that he can then transfer to humans.



 

The companionship of animals can help reduce any lonely feelings in autistic children, promoting a base of healthy character development within them, including personality traits such as being respectful, trusting, contributing, committed, self-confident, and responsible. Autistic children can also learn decision-making skills, problem-solving skills, and both language and social skills through interactions with animals.



 Play with water/sand involves sensory experiences that appeal to young children.At last, I got them a sand play container from Ikea..Most of the water/sand play table sold in Msia are over priced.Got a new idea, found it at Ikea.

Sand play therapy works with most individuals because it “facilitates access to their deepest self.”

I promised to myself that I will try my best to be the best teacher for my kids especially for Marsya. What ever it is, all my kids have taught me so many things about life. They make me see things differently & most importantly I appreciate my life more. They give me strength and make me stay stronger. Alhamdulillah... 

Signage..

I have been requested by my cousin to design some signage for her Laundry Shop. These are the results..

No Entry Signage

Toilet Signage




Rehat Signage



Buka Signage

Welcome Signage





To My Autistic Child

Where are you this moment,
My Darling Young Child,
Where have your thoughts taken you?
Where are you this moment my Darling Young Angel,
Is there something you need me to do?

Is there a way I can touch you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a path I could follow,
That would help you to learn & to grow?

If I could reach down inside you,
If I could cuddle your heart,
If I could take the mystery away,
Would you know we never will part?

Where are you this moment my child,
Where are your thoughts taken you?
Please know I am right here beside you,
No matter what LIFE TAKES US THROUGH..

I love u so much,Marsya..Will do anything for you...

After 5 years...

After 5 years, keeping all my art skills.. Finally, I wanted to let it out. I've been concentrated to my work load all these while. I knew I was missing something in my life. I need a therapy for myself. As what been mentioned in Kung Fu Panda 3 "Find your INNER PEACE"..

For my ex- KSU

It started when I wanted to give something to my ex-colleages as token of appreciation. I wanted to give something meaningful & came from my heart.  

For Puan Rogayah

For En Sutekno

For Puan Noorafifah