Friday, 8 June 2012

Yang saya pelajari - Sistem Pembelajaran Sekarang


Semasa menulis artikel ini saya sedang menjaga anak bungsu saya di hospital. Anak saya, Hana telah dimasukkan ke wad atas sebab demam virus yang semakin menular sejak kebelakangan ini. Sudah lama saya pendamkan untuk menulis, meluahkan pendapat saya mengenai sistem pembelajaran yang sedia ada. Mungkin semasa menjadi pelajar, saya tidak perasan atau hanya mengikut sistem yang sedia ada tanpa banyak soal. Sejak kecil lagi, telah dipupuk mengenai kepentingan pelajaran agar senang kemudian hari. Artikel ini bukanlah mengenai hal politik negara mahupun mengecam kerajaan. Sekadar pandangan dan pengalaman untuk berkongsi bersama.

Seminggu yang lalu, saya berkesempatan untuk menonton drama Melayu “Puisi Cinta Rubiah” yang ditayangkan di TV2. Drama itu sedikit sebanyak memaparkan tentang seorang pelajar tingkatan 5 yang akan menduduki peperiksaan SPM tetapi mengabaikan pelajarannya kerana mabuk bercinta melalui “chatting” di internet. Bapa pelajar tersebut merupakan seorang ketua kampung yang kononnya amat sibuk menjalankan tugasnya dan menurunkan tanggungjawab sepenuhnya kepada si isteri untuk mengawasi pelajaran anaknya. Acapkali si isteri dipersalahkan dengan alasan si isteri seorang suri rumah dan sentiasa bersama si anak manakala si suami mempunyai tanggungjawab yang lebih berat iaitu mencari rezeki bagi sesuap nasi. Terdapat satu adegan dimana bapa pelajar tersebut dipanggil oleh guru sekolah anaknya untuk berbincang mengenai prestasi pelajarannya. Seperti yang sering kita lihat, guru tersebut dipersalahkan kerana dikatakan tidak menjalankan tugas sebagai seorang pendidik yang baik. Bapa tersebut juga menyalahkan sistem pembelajaran sekolah tersebut. Terlintas di fikiran saya “inilah budaya masyarakat kita”. Pertama; pelajaran anak-anak hanya terletak pada tanggungjawab si Ibu/isteri, para bapa hanya bertanggungjawab untuk mencari rezeki (alasan yang paling saya menyampah!!). Kedua; para pendidik khasnya guru sahaja menjadi tunjang utama mengawasi pelajaran anak-anak dan bukan ibubapa (alasan yang turut memualkan!) Ketiga; sistem pembelajaran kita yang hanya melihat kepada keputusan peperiksaan (exam oriented education system), pelajar yang gagal sudah dicop tiada masa hadapan yang cerah. Disebabkan 3 perkara tersebut telah membuatkan saya tidak terus menonton.Mengapa masih banyak lagi drama/filem Melayu yang masih menggambarkan pemikiran kolot seperti ini? Tidak hairanlah cara atau tahap pemikiran masyarakat kita masih di tekuk yang sama!



Pada malam yang sama, TV2 telah menayangkan filem Hindustan ‘3 Idiots’. Bagus juga berhenti melanggan Astro, banyak siaran biasa yang masih belum sempat saya tonton. Filem tahun 2009 tetapi saya terlepas pandang, mungkin terlalu sibuk menguruskan keluarga dan kerja. Filem ini mengisahkan 3 orang pelajar yang sahabat baik iaitu Ranchoo, Raju dan Farhan di Emperial Collge of Engineering, kolej kejuruteraan yang terkenal di India. Ranchoo merupakan seorang genius dan berminat untuk belajar kerana ilmu dan bukan untuk lulus dengan cemerlang semata-mata. Ini berbeza dengan Raju yang berasal daripada keluarga yang miskin. Tekanan untuk mencapai keputusan yang cemerlang bagi mengubah nasib keluarga menyebabkan dirinya tertekan. Farhan pula tidak berminat untuk belajar dalam bidang kejuruteraan namun dipaksa oleh keluarganya untuk menjadi seorang jurutera bagi menaikkan imej keluarga di mata masyarakat setempat. Minat Farhan yang sebenarnya adalah di dalam bidang fotografi. Kebanyakan pelajar di kolej ini juga belajar sekadar untuk menghafal tanpa cuba memahami menyebabkan mereka seolah-olah seperti mesin atau robot. Tenaga pengajar di kolej juga tidak mendidik pelajar untuk berinovasi. Akibat tekanan hidup, ramai pelajar yang mengambil keputusan untuk membunuh diri. Perkara ini sememangnya bukan sahaja berlaku di Negara India malah semakin menular di negara kita, dimana ibu bapa berlumba-lumba untuk menjadikan anak-anak mereka berkerjaya seperti jurutera, doktor, peguam, arkitek ataupun akauntan. Ramai graduan kita yang kurang ‘soft-skills’ & kurang keyakinan diri, kebanyakkannya seperti mesin lantas bekerja mengikut buku semata-mata dan tidak boleh berfikir secara kreatif.


Selepas 3 jam menonton filem tersebut membuatkan saya berfikir sejenak. Idea untuk saya menulis datang lagi!! Jika sebelum ini saya membantu dalam penulisan bagi polisi kerajaan dalam Memorandum atau Nota Jemaah Menteri, kenapa tidak menulis untuk meluahkan apa yang terbuku dihati. Masa yang lama untuk menjaga anak di hospital membuatkan saya perlu untuk berfikir.Saya tidak betah untuk hanya duduk dikerusi. Saya perlu berfikir, kalau tidak otak akan mati!

Sebagai seorang ibu kepada 4 orang anak dan salah seorangnya merupakan Autisme (menghadapi masalah pembelajaran) melihat sistem pembelajaran negara ini yang semakin mengejar keputusan cemerlang tetapi akhirnya menghasilkan graduan yang hanya bijak menghafal tetapi kurang bijak mempraktis apa yang dipelajari. Pendidikan Khas pula sering mendapat kelas kedua. Lihat sahaja PERMATA yang ditubuhkan khas untuk mengilap anak-anak yang sememangnya dilahirkan bijaksana. Jika dilihat kepada rasionalnya, bukankah pelajar yang bijak itu boleh saja dicampak dimana-mana dan akan sentiasa menjadi survival dan bertahan di mana sahaja? Kenapa tidak diberikan tumpuan yang lebih kepada para pelajar istimewa (OKU) atau tidak bernasib baik kerana berpenyakit yang sememangnya memerlukan perhatian yang lebih? Sekolah Pendidikan Khas juga kurang dan banyak diantaranya yang baik tetapi ibu bapa perlu membayar kos yang tinggi. Sistem pelajaran sekarang yang sangat berpandukan peperiksaan (exam-oriented education system) tidak mengira kekurangan atau kelebihan seseorang pelajar. Semua pelajar diuji dengan ujian yang sama- tidak berdasarkan tahap kemampuan seseorang pelajar tersebut. Sekiranya tidak mendapat keputusan yang cemerlang maka pelajar tersebut akan dicop pemalas atau bodoh.



Kaedah pembelajaran awal di tadika juga telah disematkan ke arah pencapaian akademik sahaja. Tidak seperti di negara yang maju, pembelajaran pada masa ini adalah berkonsepkan 'to explore' supaya anak-anak berminat ke sekolah. Berbanding dengan kita di Malaysia, beg sekolah seberat 5-10kg dan kerja rumah bertimbun. Sudah kurang penerapan semangat belajar untuk mendapat ilmu yang berkualiti; tetapi berlumba-lumba untuk mendapat nombor 1 dalam kelas. Kanak-kanak yang masih tidak mampu untuk membaca sebelum menjejakkan kaki ke darjah 1 akan dipandang jauh ketinggalan berbanding dengan kanak-kanak seusia yang bijak. Bukan itu sahaja, ada sesetengah sekolah yang membuat ujian khas sebelum anak-anak ditempatkan ke kelas darjah 1. Melalui ujian tersebut, bakal murid tahun 1 akan ditempatkan ke kelas mengikut tahap pencapaian/keputusan ujian tersebut.



Pada mulanya, saya juga seakan terikut dengan trend semasa, kadang kala kecewa dengan keputusan anak-anak yang baru sahaja beberapa tahun melihat dunia. Dengan pameran keputusan cemerlang anak-anak oleh ibubapa di laman sosial seperti Facebook lagi membuatkan saya mual. Baru keputusan tadika/sekolah sudah dibangga-banggakan apatah lagi keputusan SPM atau yang lain. Tidak salah untuk berbangga dengan kejayaan anak-anak tetapi adakah pernah terlintas di fikiran tentang perasaan ibubapa yang dikurniakan anak yang kurang bernasib baik? Apakah perasaan saya sebagai seorang ibu yang mempunyai anak istimewa?Mungkinkah sudah kurang perasaan rendah diri dikalanagan masyarakat kita? Jangan salah sangka yang saya akan cemburu dan dengki, semua itu adalah rezeki yang Allah kurniakan. Bukan kuasa saya untuk mempertikaikan. Tetapi sampai bilakah budaya ini akan berterusan? Budaya yang suka bertanya “Anak you dapat numbor berapa di sekolah?” atau “berapa A anak you dapat?” atau “anak you dapat sambung belajar di mana?”. Dan bermulalah episod ibubapa akan bertukar cerita tentang anak-anak sendiri; “anak I dapat nombor satu dalam kelas” atau “anak I dapat masuk dalam kelas terbaik” atau “anak I wakil sekolah dalam acara..” dan seterusnya.


Pernah saya mendapat berita tentang anak sahabat saya yang hanya berumur 11 tahun yang berjaya diselamatkan daripada terjun dari bangunan sekolah kerana tertekan dengan desakan ibubapa tentang pelajarannya. Sejak itu, saya kurang memaksa anak-anak saya untuk belajar, cukup lah ke kelas tuisyen untuk subjek yang lemah seperti Bahasa Mandarin dan Matematik. Saya menghantar anak pertama, Dania & anak kedua, Sarah ke sebuah sekolah rendah jenis cina kerana saya berharap mungkin mereka akan mempunyai kelebihan mengusai lebih daripada 2 bahasa nanti. Saya juga mengambil keputusan untuk tidak menghantar mereka ke sekolah agama petang/pagi cukuplah ke kelas mengaji AlQuran/Fardhu Ain 1 jam sehari selepas diberitahu oleh guru kelas yang anak saya tidur di dalam kelas kerana kepenatan. Mungkin kerana pukul 730 pagi ke sekolah Agama dan 1130 pagi sudah ke sekolah rendah sehingga petang. Malam pula ke kelas tuisyen. Baru saya sedar, anak-anak yang dilahirkan, dianugerahkan dengan keupayaan pembelajaran yang berlainan walaupun daripada keturunan bijak pandai. Benarlah pesanan orang dahulu “Kebijaksanaan dan kewarasan akal tidak dapat diwarisi”. Namun demikian, bukan bermakna kebijaksanaan tidak boleh disemai. Pendidikan awal adalah amat penting. Bak kata pepatah “Melentur rebung biarlah dari rebungnya”. Semua harus bermula daripada ibubapa bukan diserahkan sepenuhnya kepada para pendidik.



Saya teringat semasa zaman persekolahan saya dahulu. Saya suka belajar dan sentiasa menjadikan kakak saya sebagai sumber inspirasi kerana berjaya mendapat biasiswa untuk menyambung pelajarannya ke United Kingdom berdasarkan keputusan SPM yang cemerlang. Saya telah berazam untuk mengikuti jejaknya nanti. Semasa itu, saya memang naïf. Bagi saya hanya keputusan yang cemerlang dapat menentukan masa hadapan. Saya telah ditawarkan untuk ke Sekolah Berasrama Penuh walaupun hati meronta untuk ke sekolah MRSM. Dengan berpegangkan pesanan kakak iaitu “Sekolah Berasrama Penuh merupakan passport untuk mendapat biasiswa”, saya memaksa diri untuk bertukar sekolah walaupun sekolah asal juga tidak kurang hebat reputasinya. Tetapi disebabkan sekolah asal cuma sekolah menengah biasa mungkin kurang mendapat perhatian. Reputasi sekolah adalah salah satu kriteria yang penting untuk dipilih oleh agensi yang menawarkan biasiswa seperti JPA, Petronas, TNB, Shell,Renong dan Esso. Pada mulanya saya memang berat hati untuk bertukar sekolah tetapi melihatkan keceriaan Abah semasa saya memaklumkan berita tawaran sekolah berasrama, terpaksa saya akur –cara yang termampu untuk membalas budi Abah dan Mama hanya dengan mengembirakan hati mereka sepanjang mereka hidup.



2 tahun bersekolah di sekolah berasrama penuh mengajar saya untuk berfikir dengan lebih matang, sabar dan tabah menghadapi apa cabaran yang ada. Semangat untuk bersaing secara sihat dengan rakan-rakan sentiasa tersemat di jiwa. Impian hanya satu iaitu biasiswa perlu dimiliki.

Semasa menunggu keputusan SPM, saya mengajar kelas tuisyen subjek Matematik secara percuma kepada anak-anak yang daripada golongan yang kurang berada. Antara murid yang masih saya ingat ialah seorang pelajar tahun 2 yang bapanya mengerjakan kedai runcit yang sering saya kunjungi. Bagi saya, ilmu yang saya peroleh perlu dikongsi- bukan wang sebagai ganti. Sekurang-kurangnya saya tidak lupa dengan apa yang telah saya pelajari semasa dibangku sekolah.

Berkat kesabaran dan usaha saya berjaya mendapat keputusan yang baik. Tetapi tidaklah secemerlang sehebat zaman sekarang seperti 17A hingga 20A. Zaman tersebut dengan keputusan SPM Gred 1, agregat di bawah 10 sudah cukup Syukur Alhamdulillah. Sudah dikira hebat kononnya.

Saya berjaya mendapat biasiwa Petronas kursus Kejuruteraan Kimia yang sepatutnya 2 tahun di universiti tempatan dan 2 tahun di negara luar. Isunya adalah samaada saya berminat dalam jurusan tersebut. Adakah saya mampu mendapat keputusan cemerlang untuk subjek yang tidak saya minati? Sejak saya membuat permohonan biasiswa lagi saya tidak dapat membuat keputusan jurusan apa yang perlu saya pelajari. Harapan cuma satu untuk sambung belajar dan mendapat biasiswa ke luar Negara agar tidak menyusahkan Mama dan Abah. Saya perlu membuat mereka bangga walau apa cara sekali pun. Saya alpa dan tidak cekap membuat keputusan. Dalam fikiran saya, saya perlu mendapatkan segulung ijazah untuk menjamin masa hadapan yang cerah. Bagi saya, mungkin saya boleh memaksa diri untuk belajar subjek tersebut; minat akan hadir lama-kelamaan. Jenis jurusan yang ditawarkan oleh penaja biasiswa pun amat terhad. Seingat saya hanya jurusan kejuruteraan, kedoktoran, akauntan, perniagaan dan ekonomi. Agaknya inilah sahaja bidang yang penting di Malaysia. Oleh kerana taksub untuk mendapatkan biasiswa saya akur untuk menyambung pelajaran dalam jurusan Kejuruteraan Kimia di Universiti Teknologi Petronas,walaupun hati ke arah kursus Senibina.

Namun saya telah tersilap langkah, saya tidak mampu belajar dalam keadaan yang terpaksa walaupun hanya baru dalam semester yang pertama. Saya tidak berminat langsung subjek tersebut. Lama saya berfikir untuk memutuskan bertukar kursus. Bagaimana harus saya memaklumkan perkara ini? Sudah pasti akan melukakan hati Abah khasnya. Biasiswa akan ditarik. Justeru, saya telah bertekad untuk memaklumkan kepada Abah walaupun saya pasti akan melukakan hatinya. Tekaan saya memang betul, Abah sedih dan menyalahkan dirinya kerana memaksa anak sendiri belajar jurusan yang tidak diminatinya. Saya berjaya menyambung pelajaran ke UiTM dalam jurusan Diploma Senibina dan juga mendapat pinjaman pelajaran JPA bagi melanjutkan pelajaran dalam Bachelor of Architecture di University of Lincoln, UK. Oleh itu, MINAT terhadap sesuatu subjek/bidang amat perlu dan memainkan peranan yang amat penting.

Pada tahun akhir di UiTM, saya bertekad untuk mengajar tuisyen subjek Matematik & Sains bagi pelajar sekolah rendah dan subjek Kimia, Fizik, Matematik Moden & Matematik Tambahan bagi pelajar sekolah menengah. Tetapi kali ini saya tidak dapat memberikan kelas secara percuma kerana perlu membuat simpanan bagi perbelanjaan kenduri kahwin selepas saya menamatkan pengajian saya di UiTM. Namun, bukanlah kerana duit simpanan yang menjadi keutamaan saya, yang penting saya dapat membantu anak-anak bangsa Melayu untuk berminat belajar dan lebih memahami subjek sains & matematik. Saya juga dapat mengingati subjek tersebut walaupun sudah lama meninggalkan alam persekolahan.

Selepas berjaya menggulung sebuah Ijazah, saya pulang ke tanah air bersama suami. Alhamdulillah, saya berjaya mendapat pekerjaan sebagai seorang arkitek di sebuah syarikat swasta. Setelah setahun bekerja di sana, saya mula terfikir “benarkah kita perlu bekerja mengikut kelayakan sahaja?” Jika saya berkelulusan Ijazah Senibina, adakah dengan menjadi seorang arkitek sahaja membolehkan saya berjaya dalam hidup? Saya mempelajari sesuatu iaitu “pekerjaan yang dicari perlu bersesuaian dan membahagiakan diri, barulah kita ikhlas mencari rezeki”. Sememangnya Allah lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik bagi umatnya. Saya telah bertukar profession; bukan lagi sebagai arkitek tetapi hanya sebagai seorang pegawai kerajaan. Mungkin itu adalah rezeki yang ditentukan olehNya, skim Perkhidmatan Tadbir dan Diplomatik menjadi sumber rezeki buat anak-anak.

Setelah hampir 6 tahun berkhidmat, banyak yang saya pelajari. Walaupun ilmu mengikut kelulusan pengajian kurang dipraktiskan semasa bekerja, namun saya percaya saya telah mendapat pelbagai ilmu yang lain semasa bekerja. Saya percaya semangat menimba ilmu perlu ada sepanjang hayat dan bukan hanya untuk lulus peperiksaan!Pelajar yang mendapat keputusan peperiksaan yang baik tidak semestinya menjadi seorang pekerja yang bagus. “The Spirit of Learning” semakin kurang disemai. Penilaian seseorang pekerja oleh kebanyakkan Pengurusan Sumber Manusia dalam mana-mana agensi tempatan juga seakan-akan mula bergantung kepada ‘exam oriented system’. Lihat sahaja bagaimana SPA/JPA membuat pemilihan bagi Skim Perkhidmatan Tadbir & Diplomatik! Bukan itu sahaja, kaedah penilaian kenaikan pangkat juga sedikit-sebanyak berkonsepkan sistem tersebut. Lama-kelamaan pegawai robot kerajaan yang bakal dihasilkan.

Pengalaman merupakan salah satu ilmu yang amat berguna. Tambahan lagi dengan menjadi seorang ibu kepada 4 orang. Saya cukup bosan dengan pandangan segelintir masyarakat kita yang masih lagi beranggapan sekiranya menjadi seorang isteri/ibu, tidak perlu melanjutkan pelajaran. Tidak sama sekali! Itu hanyalah satu alasan. “Selagi ada USAHA, di situ PASTI ada jalan”- saya melanjutkan pelajaran dan mendapat MSc in Integrated Construction Project Management secara separuh masa sambil bekerja di UiTM Shah Alam. Selagi ada kudrat, selagi itu saya akan menuntut ilmu. Contoh yang baik perlu ditunjukkan kepada anak-anak. Walaupun bidang yang dipelajari kurang berkaitan dengan pekerjaan sekarang.


Menjadi ibu kepada anak yang Autistik, Marsya juga banyak memberi ilmu yang bermanfaat kepada saya. Saya sudah berminat untuk mempelajari ilmu early education dan ilmu pendidikan khas. Semua ilmu yang saya peroleh perlu dikongsikan dengan anak-anak. Jikalau saya mampu menjadi seorang guru kepada anak orang lain, kenapa tidak terhadap anak-anak sendiri. Ilmu pendidikan khas yang saya peroleh daripada internet, bacaan ilmiah, kursus ibubapa, forum, nasihat dan sebagainya dipraktiskan kepada Marsya di rumah. Saya tidak boleh hanya bergantung kepada guru-guru Marsya di sekolahnya. Baru saya sedar, tahap penerapan ilmu oleh seseorang berdasarkan keupayaannya. Setiap insan mempunyai kekuatan dan kekurangan; anak-anak walaupun dilahirkan daripada perut ibu yang sama tetapi tidak bermakna mempunyai sifat, kelakuan dan cara pemikiran yang serupa. Ini bermakna janganlah anak-anak dipersalahkan sekiranya mereka tidak berjaya mendapat keputusan peperiksaan yang cemerlang. Galakkan mereka untuk belajar berdasarkan “spirit of learning” yang semakin dilupakan.


Masyarakat kita perlu berfikiran dengan lebih terbuka mengenai sistem pembelajaran anak-anak. Ibubapa perlu memainkan peranan yang setaraf dengan para pendidik. Sekiranya ibubapa dan para pendidik berganding bahu maka prestasi positif anak-anak juga dapat dilihat. Terapkan semangat untuk belajar bagi mendapat ilmu untuk dimanfaatkan dan bukan hanya kepada kelulusan peperiksaan. Barulah ilmu yang berKUALITI diperoleh dan bukannya berdasarkan KUANTITI! Polisi pembelajaran atau sistem pendidikan Negara juga perlu sentiasa disemak dan diperbaharui. Semangat untuk belajar perlu sehingga akhir hayat. Sekadar pandangan 2 sen daripada saya. Semoga kita melahirkan generasi yang lebih baik di masa akan datang.



Nota: Buat sahabat PTD, semoga anda menjadi pegawai yang ikhlas dalam membentuk polisi Kerajaan.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Teaching Our Kids To Solat

One day, my second daughter, Sarah asked me " Mama, why do we have to solat?" I was speechless. Was not ready to answer the question. I was so afraid that if I didn't use the right word; my children would have different understanding of the importance of solat. Since then, the question kept hunting me. I have been thingking all these while how to teach my kids to love solat. I always believe as parents, we have to be really careful in teaching our children about our religion- to know & love our Creator. Every single tiny thing counts. I don't want to force them. Spreading Islam is not about forcing. We need to teach them slowly & gently. How to make them interested to perform solah? We need to teach them the basic thing first. The concept of Iman in Islam.

I googled, done some research, read books/articles & asked around how other parents taught their children to solah. So many ideas or interpretations from them, Alhamdulillah more parents have aware the importance of teaching their children to perform solah.

Finally found a book regarding how to teach & make our children love to solat. A simple way to make them understand the importance of solat, by teaching them the basic thing; the concept of Iman. I know I'm not a perfect Muslim; there's so much more that I need to learn especially after I've become a mother. A recommended book to Muslim parents. Writer: Mustafa Abul Ma'athi, Publisher: Al-Hidayah Publications, Price : RM15.00

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Note for My Children: Lesson 5: What I learned from your Great Grandfather




Dear My sweethearts,

Today is 14th October 2011- your great paternal grandfather’s birthday. If he is still alive he would be 96 years old today. We call him “Ayah”-even if we are his grandchildren. He was born on the 14th October 1915 in Johor. He was a great man because he taught me many things since I was small until he closed his eyes in August 2006. As I told you before, I stayed with Ayah (with your Aunty Yati & Uncle Im) until I was 9 years old. During those days, taking maids was not as popular as we do now. That time Tok Abah & Tok Mama were both working & could not find someone to assist in taking care of us, so that was the reason we were raised by Ayah & Chu (your great grandmother) in Klang.

I have been thinking about Ayah lately, I think I will share some of my memories with him. Ayah was an active, discipline & hardworking man, as much as I can still remember; he worked until he was about in his 60s. He was an electrical engineer, started working with the Telekom as a technician. Those days we could hardly find educated people, but your great grand father was one of them. He could fix most of the household electrical appliances; still remember your Tok Abah usually sent him electrical goods such as rice cooker, toaster if they need to be fixed. Usually Ayah would stay in his “workshop”- a room in the back of the house which was also our study room. He would accompany us studying while he did his work.

Here are the few things I learned from him along the way:

1) Work hard for the family



He has 8 children (7 boys & 1 girl (your Tok Arah) . He got married to his sister in-law after your great paternal grandmother passed away due to cancer. He had to take care of 8 of his children plus 4 of his nieces/nephews, one of them is your Tok Jah- who is also a special needs person (She is dumb & deaf). Just imagine how hard to be him. But he managed to raise them well. Most of his children are educated & had great jobs. Your Tok Abah had once told me that one day he asked money from Ayah to buy something but later Ayah took out a handkerchief with jewelry; he said “it’s not that I don’t want to give you money. But this is the only thing I have. I don’t have money, but if it is important to you, I can pawn this gold”. Additional to this, I think I still remember someone had told me when I was young that Ayah had been offered to further his studies in the UK but he had to reject it due to his commitments to the family. He had sacrificed so much to the family.

2) Importance of Education & knowledge
Ayah was really good in Maths & he was among my best Maths teacher. He taught me about algebra, trigonometry, progression (arithmetic & geometric) , basic maths formula etc. He made me so in love in Mathematics; that was why the only subjects I got A1 for my SPM were additional mathematics & modern mathematics. He once said to me “Mathematics is all around us, it’s also about life. Maths is about solving a problem; we will solve it when we use the right formula”.

He was also an English & Bahasa Malaysia teacher to me. He loved to read & share my story books. Usually I would share the stories which I’ve read to him especially Bahasa Malaysia story books on “kisah-kisah dongeng” before we went to sleep. He would ask me “what did you learn from the book?”. He told me there’s always a lesson from a story book even if it is only about an elephant.

3) Be kind to everyone
One thing I noticed about Ayah when he drove his car was that he would raise his hand to show/signal  thank you to other drivers after they gave way to him. It is like a habit to him. He always remind me to talk nicely to everyone; be good to everyone & show some appreciation when they do good things to us.

4) Table manners
Ayah had been involved in an accident in Pahang which made one of his legs weak/paralysed but he still moved with his crutches. But that did not stop him to do anything he wanted like driving & working. Due to his condition, he started to eat with fork & spoon. That was when he taught me about the table manners & etiquette. He taught me the right way to put/arrange culinary/utensil on the table & a napkin is a must. He showed me the right way to eat a bowl of soup & “Never to put your elbows on the table”.

5) The most important space in a house
One day Ayah asked me “Do you know what is the most important space in a house?” so I answered “it must be the living room because all the family members will gather here”. Then he replied “No, it is your bedroom because your bedroom is your private space. Never let strangers/visitors to easily enter your bedroom. When you are at people’s home, do not enter their bedroom unless you are explicitly permitted to do so”. I think that was my first lesson about architecture.

6) Eat first then pray

Ayah always said that if you are hungry, fill your stomach first then you perform your prayer. This is to ensure that we concentrate (khusyuk) more during our prayers. He was right; when food was served to Ibn 'Umar and the iqama was given, he would not go to the prayer until he had finished, even if he heard the Imam reciting. Ibn 'Umar said that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When one of you is eating, he should not rush but should eat as much as he needs to, even if the iqama of the prayer is given. "It is part of a man's understanding to attend to his need so that he can attend to his prayer with a clear heart.“

7) Lock the door every time before we have our meals at home
Ayah would always reminded us to lock all the doors before we have our meals. He said “who knows, while we are enjoying our food, bad strangers would just enter the house”.

8) “Salam” to show respect to others

Salam here means shake hands with others especially older people. Ayah always adviced us to salam older people (especially when we were young) in showing respect & to greet others. Thus,this would be a great first impression of us to others. That is why I always remind this to all of you every time before we visit anyone “Sampai rumah orang nanti, salam dengan semua orang tau”. This is just like a training session; you will get use to it. =)



9) Family is the most important thing.

This was his favorite saying. It was instilled in all of us.

10) Never stop learning.


“Even if you are a woman, just proceed to achieve what you have aimed for.”


Kids, I hope you gained something today. Please respect & love your grandparents. They are very important persons in our lives, if not because of them; we won’t even be here.


Love, Your Mama

“Ayah, if you are still alive you would be 96 years old today. I used to be the 1st among your grand children to wish you birthday,even if I was at school I would search for a public phone just to call you & wish. Then I would make your day; you would tell your children that I was the 1st person to wish you that. How time really flies, it has been 5 years since you're gone, but memories with you are still with me- your love,guidance,caring heart. Ayah, I wish you could still hear my bday wish to you. Ya Allah, Bestow on him Your Mercy as he did bring me up when I was young. Al-Fatihah..”

-14th October 1915 - August 2006 : Yaacob Bin Hitam


by Tini Yahya on Friday, 14 October 2011 at 14:30

Note for My Children: Lesson 4: Being Clean & Healthy

My daughter dearest,

Do you know why I always emphasis on cleanliness? Let me tell you about what we did during weekends during our childhood. Your Tok Abah & Tok Mama would wake us up around 9am every Sunday. Yeah, we would be like “alah.. why do we have to wake up early even on weekends?” . But we could not disobey our parents (We would not like to make your Tok Abah angry). So we got up & each of us would be a given special task. Usually your Aunty Yati & I would do the vacuuming all rooms including the living room, kitchen & even the toilets (Tok Mama doesn’t like to see all the spider webs). Then we would wipe all the decorative & collection items from the display cupboards. Uncle Im would clean all the fans in the house. Tok Abah would cut the lawn & Tok Mama would clean the toilets. During that time, Uncle Man & Aunty Yam were still small to do anything. That’s what I call as our Spring-cleaning Day & all of us work as a team. As a result, we have a clean & nice home to stay. All of us took part & that has become a habit to me until now. That’s why I ask some of you to help me to clean the house every Sunday. From what I learned “Anything that is taught at a very early stage will go a long way throughout life. It is essential to cultivate the habit of cleanliness at an early age.” I want to raise you the same way I had been raised before. Don’t worry, we learn step by step.

Lesson 4: Being Clean & Healthy

Why is it so important? Being clean is not only for your body. Cleanliness is the way you live, the way you talk, the way you take care of your body, or even the way you take care of your home and belongings. Hence, being clean and tidy creates the best impression to others. I’m also pretty certain that you have learned about being clean at your school including your Sekolah Agama. To brush your teeth regularly, taking a nice bath, to wash your hands before you eat are some good examples. Then you will learn about taking wuduk or bersuci  before you read the Quran and pray.Islam places great emphasis on cleanliness, in both its physical and spiritual aspects. Physical cleanliness and spiritual purity are two different sides of cleanliness. Both are bound up with each other. We will be rewarded by Allah for doing so because Allah loves us being clean.

People who practice good hygiene are typically healthier. Staying clean helps fight off bacteria that cause illnesses. Do you like to get sick? I’m sure all of us don’t. When your body is healthy then your mind is also set and ready to gain and digest what you have learned. This means you can learn easily.

One more thing which I always stress on is to take care of our environment. Please don’t throw any rubbish outside from a car. We can be ill when our environment is not clean and polluted. We need clean air to breathe. Love your environment & you will enjoy it very much. Do you like to go to a dirty public toilet? I’m sure you will say “Euww..that’s so gross & digusting!!” and you can’t even do your business there. That’s why you need to make sure the toilet is really clean after you have used & before you leave.

The good thing of cleanliness is the good feeling when we are clean. We will feel comfortable and I’m sure you will get more friends. Isn’t that great? I’m sure to keep yourself tidy is an easy thing to do. We can do our responsibility together to keep a healthy lifestyle. Do remember this:

“Cleanliness is one key to good health. Good health is a matter of how well you assemble your life together”.

Hope you have learned something today.

Love,
Mama



by Tini Yahya on Thursday, 15 September 2011 at 13:39_Facebook

Monday, 17 October 2011

Note for My Children: Lesson 3: Pay It Forward


Dearest Anak-anakku,

Last Saturday I took 2 of you to my friend’s wedding where we received a book & kuih bahulu as the door gift. The small book, “Bingkisan untuk anak-anakku” was written by the bride’s mother as the ‘bunga telur’, as the remembrance of her only daughter’s wedding. I was so touched & I wish I could afford to do the same thing. The contents of book are very short & simple but all the advices are very meaningful. One of the contents is “tentang menjadi Orang yang Baik di sisi Allah SWT” – to become a good person.

Lesson 3: Pay It Forward

I believe being good is not only to Allah but to all living things & to yourself. We should also respect the animals & love them. Who knows they can take us to the Heaven :). There’s a movie called “Pay It Forward” which I just love the message. It is described as an obligation to do three good deeds for others in repayment of a good deed that one receives, and that such good deeds should be things that the person cannot accomplish on their own. The recipient of such acts of kindness is then expected to do three good deeds for others in repayment for the help they have received. In this way, the need to help each other can spread exponentially through society, creating a social movement with the hopes of making the world a better place.

Pay it forward or paying it forward refers to repaying the good deeds one has received by doing good things for other unrelated people. For example, Sarah helps Dania & instead of Dania helps Sarah back, she helps Marsya then Marsya can help Hana & Sarah. In Islam, the message is actually about doing something good sincerely without expecting rewards in return. Remember when I always give you some money & ask you to donate to the needy ones like the blinds, orphans, poor people? This is what your Tok Abah always asked me to do when I was about your age. Until now your Tok Mama sends some food to Rumah Anak-anak Yatim monthly. Try to help others as much as we could afford or capable. This is what you are willing to do & not by forcing. Do all the good deeds with ‘hati yang ikhlas’. All the good deeds will clean your heart. It will be a good habit. =)

I’m sure all of you are kind-hearted. For me, I always try my best to help & do good things to others even if it is hard to do or it is not affordable. It’s hard to say “No. sorry I can’t help you”. When there’s a Makcik sells kerepek/kuih-muih, I just don’t have the heart to say to her “maaf makcik, saya tak mau beli”. I will at least spare RM10. If I don’t have the money means no ‘rezeki’ for that Makcik.  Sometimes you will say “alah…buat apa nak tolong dia, dia bukan baik dengan kita pun” or “I already helped her but she still doing bad things to me”. Don’t worry kids, Allah is always there for us.”Hari ini hari orang lain, esok lusa mungkin hari kita pula”. The most important thing is your heart. Be nice to people & might be the unrelated people/strangers will be nice to you. We don’t know when will be our turn to ask for help.  There’s an old say “Buat baik berpada-pada, buat jahat jangan sekali”.

I can guarantee that you will feel happy when you make other people happy. You won’t lose anything. Keep your friendships because I always believe in them.

I hope you get this message right. All of you are my anak-anak solehah.

Love, Mama


by Tini Yahya on Tuesday, 13 September 2011 at 16:15

Note for My Children: Lesson 2- Why Education is so important?

Dearest My Sweethearts,

I know & I’m sure there are times when you feel “Oh no..Do I have to study again?!” or you would say “ala Mama ni..lagi-lagi suh buat homework”. You know what? I felt that too when I was a student. Your grandfather, Tok Abah is a strict man but a very WISE man. Remember how many times I told you that he reads a lot? He reads anywhere and anytime & especially before he goes to sleep. You can just see him sleeping with tones of books, magazines & newspapers around him (I wish I could do the same thing =).Try to ask him anything. I still remember we were in Holland (Tok Abah took us (his children) for a holiday) that time when a tour guide was giving us briefing about her country. Your Tok Abah shared his view and what he had read about the country including the history. The tour guide was so impressed by what he had mentioned. She said Tok Abah knows better about her country than she does. Then I realized learning is not a dull/tedious/monotonous thing, it would be really fun when you know how to use what you have learned. Furthermore, it does not mean when you don’t get good grades, you don’t learn anything.

Lesson 2: Why Education is so important?

I still remember when I was about your age, when Tok Abah took us somewhere & he saw people who worked as cleaners, toll attendants or homeless; he would say “ Did you see that? Do you want to be like them?”. Please don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t ridiculing them; what he meant was “you can choose what you want to be in the future but you have to strive for it. Study smart and grab the opportunity to learn as much as you could because if not, you will end up just like them.” Some of us were born & brought up in less fortunate families, but that doesn’t mean we can’t change our life. There’s no such thing of “this is what Allah has set for me & I can’t do anything about it, I will just redha”. Allah won’t change you unless you change yourselves. But there are times when you will face His tests.

Do you know why I send you (Dania & Sarah) to a Chinese school? Plus Sekolah agama? Tuition classes? I want you to get the best education I could provide. I know I don’t have much time to teach you myself. I can only monitor you during night time when the time is so limited. When you are still young, your brain is like a sponge, it will absorb as much water as possible- meaning you can learn anything easily, you manage to memorize more things. Trust me, I’m not making your life miserable, because learning is fun. I really miss my school days- ponteng sekolah pun Mama tak nak tau.

Whatever it is, you will become into a PERSON from learning. Like I said before; formal & informal education will make you WISER and help you to SURVIVE. You will know how to control your HEART & MIND. I know it’s not easy to get good results, just do your best. Learning is a long process, do it step by step.

I just learned this "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." — Albert Einstein

All of you make me proud.

I love you,
Mama

by Tini Yahya on Friday, 09 September 2011 at 09:53_ from my Facebook.

Note For My Children: Lesson No.1 : 3 Important Words; Please, Sorry & Thank you

I have posted this on my Notes in FB before but I think from now on I will post all my Note for my Children in my blog as well. I think it's time for me to concentrate with my writing & post it in my blog. There are so many things that I want to share with my children which I'm afraid time is so crucial. As parents, we always seem to be wishing for more time. I hope my children will learn something from writing as their guidelines in life especially when I'm not around later.
_________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, 08 September 2011, 5.00pm

My dearest kiddos,


I'm sorry, I know I can't afford to give each of you all of my attention by atleast reading you story books like I used to do before.I've always wanted to share with you my own stories. There are times we learn more through informal education, which I always believe that makes us WISER.The informal education which I'm referring to is our own EXPERIENCES or what we've been adviced.Therefore, I've always wanted to have a journal, to share every single thing in my life with you even if I'm not around.I hope from now on I will atleast spare you a note a day.

Lesson No.1 : 3 Important Words; Please, Sorry & Thank you

Since I was young, these are the 3 words that always pop out of my mouth. Do say please,Sorry & Thank you as they show your manners. They are just simple words but give great impact. How do you feel when someone ask for help and uses 'please'? I'm sure it would touch your heart and you will try to help him/her as much as you could. If you want people to treat the same thing like you treat others, practise this word.

Sorry & Thank you- These are my favourite words. Just imagine if you get hurt & angry with someone, she says sorry immidiately-how would u feel? When you are growing up saying “sorry” is a magical thing, and so easy to do. No matter what you have done, a simple “sorry”, even if you don't mean it, and all is forgiven. (it will be a complicated word when you become older, dont worry you will learn). But say it with all your heart.Some examples are " Maaf Makcik/pakcik, kalau saya menyusahkan sebab kena hantar saya balik rumah" or " Maaf menggangu pakcik/makcik, boleh saya bercakap dengan...,Terima kasih". Thank you shows how you appreciate people. I'm sure you like to be appreciated (all of us do) but the word "Thank You" means more than just an appreciation of people's kindness. I like this phase 'Love isn’t love until it is given away; until it flows over to others'- like giving thanks. How do say thank you to Allah? By saying Alhamdulillah,I'm sure Allah will always listen to you because you appreciate his LOVE.

I hope that I've taught you something today. Dania, if you are reading this please share it with your sisters. I will try write more notes for all of u to replace my time which I could not spend  with you.

I love u so much..

Yours,
Mama