Dear My sweethearts,
Today is 14th October 2011- your great paternal grandfather’s birthday. If he is still alive he would be 96 years old today. We call him “Ayah”-even if we are his grandchildren. He was born on the 14th October 1915 in Johor. He was a great man because he taught me many things since I was small until he closed his eyes in August 2006. As I told you before, I stayed with Ayah (with your Aunty Yati & Uncle Im) until I was 9 years old. During those days, taking maids was not as popular as we do now. That time Tok Abah & Tok Mama were both working & could not find someone to assist in taking care of us, so that was the reason we were raised by Ayah & Chu (your great grandmother) in Klang.
I have been thinking about Ayah lately, I think I will share some of my memories with him. Ayah was an active, discipline & hardworking man, as much as I can still remember; he worked until he was about in his 60s. He was an electrical engineer, started working with the Telekom as a technician. Those days we could hardly find educated people, but your great grand father was one of them. He could fix most of the household electrical appliances; still remember your Tok Abah usually sent him electrical goods such as rice cooker, toaster if they need to be fixed. Usually Ayah would stay in his “workshop”- a room in the back of the house which was also our study room. He would accompany us studying while he did his work.
Today is 14th October 2011- your great paternal grandfather’s birthday. If he is still alive he would be 96 years old today. We call him “Ayah”-even if we are his grandchildren. He was born on the 14th October 1915 in Johor. He was a great man because he taught me many things since I was small until he closed his eyes in August 2006. As I told you before, I stayed with Ayah (with your Aunty Yati & Uncle Im) until I was 9 years old. During those days, taking maids was not as popular as we do now. That time Tok Abah & Tok Mama were both working & could not find someone to assist in taking care of us, so that was the reason we were raised by Ayah & Chu (your great grandmother) in Klang.
I have been thinking about Ayah lately, I think I will share some of my memories with him. Ayah was an active, discipline & hardworking man, as much as I can still remember; he worked until he was about in his 60s. He was an electrical engineer, started working with the Telekom as a technician. Those days we could hardly find educated people, but your great grand father was one of them. He could fix most of the household electrical appliances; still remember your Tok Abah usually sent him electrical goods such as rice cooker, toaster if they need to be fixed. Usually Ayah would stay in his “workshop”- a room in the back of the house which was also our study room. He would accompany us studying while he did his work.
Here are the few things I learned from him along the way:
1) Work hard for the family
1) Work hard for the family
He has 8 children (7 boys & 1 girl (your Tok Arah) . He got married to his sister in-law after your great paternal grandmother passed away due to cancer. He had to take care of 8 of his children plus 4 of his nieces/nephews, one of them is your Tok Jah- who is also a special needs person (She is dumb & deaf). Just imagine how hard to be him. But he managed to raise them well. Most of his children are educated & had great jobs. Your Tok Abah had once told me that one day he asked money from Ayah to buy something but later Ayah took out a handkerchief with jewelry; he said “it’s not that I don’t want to give you money. But this is the only thing I have. I don’t have money, but if it is important to you, I can pawn this gold”. Additional to this, I think I still remember someone had told me when I was young that Ayah had been offered to further his studies in the UK but he had to reject it due to his commitments to the family. He had sacrificed so much to the family.
2) Importance of Education & knowledge
2) Importance of Education & knowledge
Ayah was really good in Maths & he was among my best Maths teacher. He taught me about algebra, trigonometry, progression (arithmetic & geometric) , basic maths formula etc. He made me so in love in Mathematics; that was why the only subjects I got A1 for my SPM were additional mathematics & modern mathematics. He once said to me “Mathematics is all around us, it’s also about life. Maths is about solving a problem; we will solve it when we use the right formula”.
He was also an English & Bahasa Malaysia teacher to me. He loved to read & share my story books. Usually I would share the stories which I’ve read to him especially Bahasa Malaysia story books on “kisah-kisah dongeng” before we went to sleep. He would ask me “what did you learn from the book?”. He told me there’s always a lesson from a story book even if it is only about an elephant.
3) Be kind to everyone
He was also an English & Bahasa Malaysia teacher to me. He loved to read & share my story books. Usually I would share the stories which I’ve read to him especially Bahasa Malaysia story books on “kisah-kisah dongeng” before we went to sleep. He would ask me “what did you learn from the book?”. He told me there’s always a lesson from a story book even if it is only about an elephant.
3) Be kind to everyone
One thing I noticed about Ayah when he drove his car was that he would raise his hand to show/signal thank you to other drivers after they gave way to him. It is like a habit to him. He always remind me to talk nicely to everyone; be good to everyone & show some appreciation when they do good things to us.
4) Table manners
4) Table manners
Ayah had been involved in an accident in Pahang which made one of his legs weak/paralysed but he still moved with his crutches. But that did not stop him to do anything he wanted like driving & working. Due to his condition, he started to eat with fork & spoon. That was when he taught me about the table manners & etiquette. He taught me the right way to put/arrange culinary/utensil on the table & a napkin is a must. He showed me the right way to eat a bowl of soup & “Never to put your elbows on the table”.
5) The most important space in a house
5) The most important space in a house
One day Ayah asked me “Do you know what is the most important space in a house?” so I answered “it must be the living room because all the family members will gather here”. Then he replied “No, it is your bedroom because your bedroom is your private space. Never let strangers/visitors to easily enter your bedroom. When you are at people’s home, do not enter their bedroom unless you are explicitly permitted to do so”. I think that was my first lesson about architecture.
6) Eat first then pray
6) Eat first then pray
Ayah always said that if you are hungry, fill your stomach first then you perform your prayer. This is to ensure that we concentrate (khusyuk) more during our prayers. He was right; when food was served to Ibn 'Umar and the iqama was given, he would not go to the prayer until he had finished, even if he heard the Imam reciting. Ibn 'Umar said that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When one of you is eating, he should not rush but should eat as much as he needs to, even if the iqama of the prayer is given. "It is part of a man's understanding to attend to his need so that he can attend to his prayer with a clear heart.“
7) Lock the door every time before we have our meals at home
Ayah would always reminded us to lock all the doors before we have our meals. He said “who knows, while we are enjoying our food, bad strangers would just enter the house”.
8) “Salam” to show respect to others
8) “Salam” to show respect to others
Salam here means shake hands with others especially older people. Ayah always adviced us to salam older people (especially when we were young) in showing respect & to greet others. Thus,this would be a great first impression of us to others. That is why I always remind this to all of you every time before we visit anyone “Sampai rumah orang nanti, salam dengan semua orang tau”. This is just like a training session; you will get use to it. =)
9) Family is the most important thing.
This was his favorite saying. It was instilled in all of us.
10) Never stop learning.
9) Family is the most important thing.
This was his favorite saying. It was instilled in all of us.
10) Never stop learning.
“Even if you are a woman, just proceed to achieve what you have aimed for.”
Kids, I hope you gained something today. Please respect & love your grandparents. They are very important persons in our lives, if not because of them; we won’t even be here.
Love, Your Mama
“Ayah, if you are still alive you would be 96 years old today. I used to be the 1st among your grand children to wish you birthday,even if I was at school I would search for a public phone just to call you & wish. Then I would make your day; you would tell your children that I was the 1st person to wish you that. How time really flies, it has been 5 years since you're gone, but memories with you are still with me- your love,guidance,caring heart. Ayah, I wish you could still hear my bday wish to you. Ya Allah, Bestow on him Your Mercy as he did bring me up when I was young. Al-Fatihah..”
-14th October 1915 - August 2006 : Yaacob Bin Hitam
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